I was never one for being really orderly. When I lived at home, I had to dig a path from my bed to the door, you know in case there was a fire or something. But the thing is, I have always been messy and not dirty. I was pretty certain on where I stood in terms of home cleanliness: somewhere between a few shirts on the floor and allowing science to grow on dishes. But moving to Italy and living with the clean police, Daniele, even so much as actually having a shirt on the floor is a serious offense. I am the least messy I have ever been in my life but I have yet to master the way of the Italian casa. According to D, my mess crimes begin inside the closet. His closet contains shirts that are perfectly ironed and hung up in order from long to short sleeves. I, on the other hand, am lucky if I can get the doors to close on mine. The other thing is my makeup case. I have a serious makeup hoarding problem. D thought he could help (himself mostly) and bought me the ultimate Sephora makeup case, complete with keys! However, it is now so full that I can’t close it, or lock it for that matter. The contents are now barfing onto the counter. But in reality, that is the extent of my messiness on a day to day basis. In Italian reality, I am a disorderly tornado ripping an unrelenting path of destruction all over the house. But like I said, I do try. But I have a secret, a messy secret!
All the trying to be clean goes out the window when D has to travel for work, like this week. I call it “me time” which translates to I do the dishes the night before he gets home, my makeup takes over the entire bathroom, the bed doesn’t get made, laundry piles up and there is a circle of wrappers and cans surrounding my lazy bum as I partake in a 3-4 day Sex and the City marathon. The night before he gets back I scurry around, frantically hiding the evidence that he is married to the anti-housewife.
My plan usually works. I think he suspects what I am doing, but it’s a “don’t ask don’t tell” kind of situation and as long as everything is in place when he gets back, it’s no big deal. But lately the in-laws have been showing up during “me time” and witnessing the inhumanity that is not cleaning the house for 4 days. They try to hide the looks of horror on their faces, but I am beginning to wonder what exactly they must be thinking. I have heard from others that Italians are clean freaks, so I wonder if people in this country are all sensitive to witnessing mess first hand or if it’s just my in-laws that are really clean focused. One time D’s cousin knocked on the door to borrow sugar. My heart dropped. The kitchen looked liked a war had broken out between the cups and the plates, followed by a food fight. I just knew she would follow me into the kitchen so I tried to prepare her with the “sorry about the mess” speech. When she actually saw it, I swear she turned white and mumbled something about how her kitchen was messy too. She invited me for a coffee (to get me away from the dangers of the mess?) and I saw that her kitchen had only a glass and a fork in the sink. Her mess was to mine like a stuffed teddy bear is to a rabid grizzly.
To top it all off (or to rub my face in my own mess), last night my sister in law actually told me it looked like gypsies lived in my apartment! I swear it wasn’t even that bad! I think some Italians are just hypersensitive to a little bit of clutter or I really am Messica: Queen of the Slobs.
Well time to go start cleaning, D is coming home tomorrow!
Posted in Randomissimo | 14 Comments
Apr 9th, 2008
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I’m with ya on this one. It’s not just your inlaws either- it’s the nationality. You should of seen the apartment in Dublin that G used to live in. Three Italian guys in their 20s and not a speck of dust- not a speck. Got my act together while we were there, but it’s a struggle still to live up to the “Italian” standard here… I’ve got a bit of a “system” but if I fall behind it’s all over.
Recognise the ‘me time.’ I still do that when ‘the other half’s’ away on business! ;-)
I actually usually keep things pretty well picked up and dishes at least out of view, but it never fails that if I haven’t done some dishes *right away* someone will show up while they’re still in the sink. Oh well. They’re already aghast that I keep dogs in the house….
That is hysterical and so true! The Italian level of cleanliness at all times is on a whole new level of hygiene! What I think is so odd though is that their homes are absolutely spotless but they think nothing of littering when they leave the house.
HAHA - I am so there with you! I have a tendency to make piles of stuff and it doesnt bother me one bit if they sit on the floor for awhile. I am fine with clean but jeez, living can be messy!
LOL. When I lived in a shared house before living with OH, my room was often in a total mess. Kind of liked it. Now I am still a little messy, but I know I have to keep it under control
If OH is away for work then no way will I clean up until I know he’s due back.
I’m a messy person too. However, I alway put my clothes in the laundry bag and wait for the day to fold them and put them in my closet. Kenneth is not messy but he likes to clothes on the floor, which makes me angry because the floor’s dirty! Why not just put the pile of clothe in a container I got at Ikea?! Anyway, I hope I’ll be able to top his family’s cleaness when I move there, otherwise our home will be like a garbage landfill.
I laughed out loud when I read this as I can relate to it and then some! I have never been able to get a handle on being clean and tidy. Even when I do, things look a tad unkept. Anyway, I try and mininize my belongs but still it looks like Pigpen resides in my home. Anyway, I embrace my disorderly nature and so far its been okay.
Thanks for the entertaining read! I’d much rather watch Sex in the City than clean too! :-)
Just keep reminding yourself that you will be in Verona soon…and far away from the in-laws so no spies can drop in to check out the state of your house!
See, we really are one and the same person. I am like you when the Major is away- http://theredscrapbook.blogspot.com/2007/12/on-character-flaws-2.html
Have you ever seen The Happy Slob’s site? (happyslob.com) I like how upbeat and fun she is about wanting to things besides obsess over her house. She has strategies and even environmentally friendly recipes. And besides, checking out her site is a fun way to procrastinate, err, research!
~Tui
I love your cartoon - a clean house is indeed a sign of a wasted life. Seriously, on my weekends when it’s sunny outside I don’t want to be scrubbing the bathroom - I want to be planted on the couch with a tub of icecream watching Sex and the City!
Anyway, the secret is to stop feeling guilty about your “mess”. That’s how you are and in a million years you’re not going to get out one of those pink bottles of spirito and start cleaning the walls with it. If you’re unapologetic about your supposed “mess” others might even realise how much time they waste cleaning and putting things away and will learn to enjoy life and stop being so uptight!
I think it’s especially sad when you have kids. Women (especially mothers) here are under so much pressure to disinfect everything every 5 minutes that they miss their kids’ childhood. I plan to let my little bambina play in the dirt, fingerpaint, crawl on our not too clean floors, climb trees and get messy. I’d rather spend time with her than time with the CIF con candeggina.
(BTW - my H is Dutch and we’re both unapologetic messy packrats. We do clean but we just have a lot of stuff in our apartment!)
JUST KEEP CLEANING! ITS NOT THAT HARD MESSICA!!!!!!!!
I am exactly the same way! Lucky for me, my hubby’s cleanliness has rubbed off on me and not the other way around! Good Luck!