Italy is awesome (and awesomely frustrating for foreigners) so no wonder there are zillions of books written about it. These books range from guidebooks to essays to memoirs. Here I have picked the 5 books written about Italy that if I had my way, would be unwritten and I would get the hours back I spent reading them, a refund of the money from buying them and have my brain erased of any and all remnants of these atrocities. Below I write my opinions of the books, followed by the funniest Amazon reviews I could find (if they are available).
#5 Desiring Italy: Women Writers Celebrate the Passions of a Country and Culture-Susan Cahill
My Opinion: This should be titled Desiring My Time Back. Luckily, I didn’t pay any money for the book as it was a part of a book exchange (though I paid in terms of the agony inflicted on me by reading it). It’s basically a collection of essays written by women who have traveled to Italy. When I cracked open the book, I struggled to keep my eyes open. This is coma inducing unless you really love complicated, Victorian era writing. Maybe it gets better, but even after jumping around a bit I couldn’t get into to any of the writings. It reminded me of the required readings in a high school English class.
Amazon review: (Sadly this was the only critical review of the book out of the few that were left. I can only assume people didn’t leave a review because they quickly wanted to forget they had ever read it.)
Unfortunately, I was disappointed by the book; it did not meet my expectations or hold my interest so I abandoned it in our hotel room. -SM
Why You Shouldn’t Bother: If you’re like me, you look to books to inspire you. The only inspiration I got while reading this was to sleep-long and hard. Unless you are a real lover of dry essays compiled into a book, skip it.
#4 Rick Steves’ Italy-Rick Steves
My Opinion: I had high hopes for this guidebook, after all Steves’ was practically my neighbor (we lived in the same area of Seattle). When I had won free tickets to Rome, I had virtually zero travel experience. I was in need of some guidance. I went to one of his lectures about Rome and was horrified. With his little slide show filled with gypsies begging next to the Colosseum, I felt like I was traveling to a war zone. Steves’ said not to worry and by purchasing his guidebook, we would have the tools we needed to take on Rome. So I bought it and upon reading it I was even more terrified than before. Based on his book, I was going to have babies thrown at me while a rabid group of children ransacks my pockets and purse. Anyone having traveled to Rome would soon figure out what nonsense this all is. I feel more safe in Rome than I do in my hometown of Spokane, Washington. While pickpocketing does happen here, I have never experienced any of the things Rick described in his lecture and guidebook (that’s not to say it NEVER happens though). I continued to use the book to get ideas on where to eat and what to see. Sadly, everything Rick writes about gets ruined. I’m sure when he had first visited these places, they were good. But now they suck because of the unrelenting hordes of “Rickniks” that descend upon them. Most of the small businesses can’t keep up with the demand and the places recommended basically turns into overpriced tourist restaurants with frozen food being passed off as authentic. All the restaurants and “back door” sites were filled with other Americans carrying this guidebook. Oh and don’t get me started on Cinque Terre.
Amazon reviews:
Hey folks - did you know there’s nothing to see in Rome? You might as well move on. That’s according to Rick Steves. He writes “For most travelers, Rome is best done quickly… Italy is more charming elsewhere.” He recommends Rome as a side-trip from somewhere else!!! I think our friend Rick has been hitting the grappa rather hard because, to anyone who’s been there, it’s clear that he doesn’t know what in the world he’s talking about. -tony 7962
Steves says he’s giving you “only the best” of Italy, but what he really means is that he covers only the most obvious, tourist-trodden destinations…if you want to step off the beaten path (meaning really off the path, not to Steves’ “finds,” which have been in every decent guidebook for half a century), you’re on your own. (He pretends that Sicily doesn’t even exist. Amazing.) And the restaurant recommendations follow suit — tourist traps. I got in the habit of looking into the places he suggested, just to make sure I wasn’t missing something, but didn’t eat in any of them after the first couple of days. Time and again it was the same thing: a room full of American customers and tired-looking Italian waiters with painted-on smiles.-a customer
Why You Shouldn’t Bother: Unless your dream vacation in Italy consists of surrounding yourself with hundreds of other Americans pushing and shoving into hotels and restaurants recommended by Rick, then don’t buy this book. I have found reading blogs (shameless plug?) offers much better advice on where to go, what to see and what to eat than any guidebook does. Plus, most of these places a local blogger would recommend would never have 20 buses parked outside.
#3 Living La Dolce Vita-Raeleen D’Agostino Mautner
My Opinion: I bought this in a hurry which was probably my first mistake. Instead of it being a book about a woman in Italy like I had imagined based on the cover, it is a self help book with loose Italian tie ins that are mostly just common clichés about Italy and Italians: family values, good food, friendship, slowing down. As I was reading it seemed like the author has never visited Italy and is just going on what seems to be common characteristics of an Italian lifestyle (”Family is the focal point of Italian life” pg.1). My suspicions were confirmed again when on page 97 she gives a recipe for “Spaghetti and Meatballs alla Mamma” !?!?!?!? At that point, Daniele made me stop reading the book and threw it away.
Funny Amazon reviews:
In the epilogue, the author expresses her resentment of how “Hollywood” stereotypes Italians. Perhaps she hasn’t noticed that the preceding chapters do exactly that, but instead illuminating all the “positive” stereotypes of Italians. The Italian people are diverse just as Americans, and it is unfair many of them do not live the “dolce vita” as described.-Travis
The advice she gives reads like something out of an article in “Seventeen Magazine”. For example, here are some of her tips for cultivating friends, Italian style: 1)Spend the time it takes to cultivate new friends. 2)Go beyond the superficial to create intimacy. 3)Practice giving and receiving affection. 4)Be willing to listen. 5)Show loyalty in your words and actions. I bet you never would have thought of those things on your own, right?-L.A in CA
Why You Shouldn’t Bother: 99% of the advice is common sense, and putting an unimformed Italian theme on the advice is just annoying.
#2 As The Romans Do-Alan Epstein
My Opinion: I had high hopes for this, after all it was on Oprah! But I just couldn’t get past all the stereotypes and generalizations (also read Shelley’s awesome review of this book as she draws similar conclusions). For example: All Italians LOVE ironing and do not like dryers, they all hate dishwashers and have no clue as to how to decorate a Christmas tree. Oh and all women dress to the nines all day, every day. This is not the Italy I live in. I have Italian friends that hate ironing as much as I do, love their dishwasher and can decorate X-mas trees beautifully. I also see women and men in sweats or tracksuits out and about daily. I could go on and but…
Funny Amazon reviews:
This book is an infuriating collection of stereotypes, errors and prejudices.-S Sabes
Clearly this author had two goals in mind: 1) to take advantage of the Americans-living-in-Europe publishing trend, a la Frances Mayes, and 2) to brag endlessly! I got tired of reading about the author’s expensive apartment and furniture, his Mercedes and his impressive friends after a few chapters and gave up on this.-E.Griffin
Reading this book reminded me of why I don’t like to be invited to a slide show of somebody else’s trip– you had to be there. Amateur photography and amateur writing just do not convey the essence of a place very well - disco75
When Mr. Epstein isn’t begging for attention when recounting his associations with washed-up American politicians, or his fifteen minutes of obscure fame induced from Oprah’s TV book club, he offers little more than obvious insights into the workings of this fine city. More attention is placed into the exquisite decorating of his new home (bragging as usual) than to the description of his characteristic Roman neighborhood.- frankpoliti
Why You Shouldn’t Bother: I think the reviews give a pretty good case as to why you should skip this one. I think very few people are able to relate to the author’s version of Rome.
#1 Under The Tuscan Sun-Francis Mayes
My Opinion: Yeah, you probably saw that one coming. But I couldn’t believe this book when I read it. Boring and horrible both come to mind. I can’t even put into words how WRONG this book is. Luckily, the Amazon reviewers do a great job, saying all that I wanted to say and more. I was literally crying from laughter after reading these reviews-they are so right!
Funny Amazon reviews:
The mindblowingly boring guide to breathtaking Tuscany…If you are a fan of Italy, don’t kill the magic with this book.-Dana Al-Husseini
Another reason that I gave it 3 stars was the author’s insistence in calling the period of afternoon rest that many people in Italy observe a “siesta”. For someone who claims to love Italian people and culture you would think that Ms. Mayes would be ashamed to use the Spanish translation of this practice. In Italian it is called “risposo” and is a very important part of Italian culture.”-H.R. Bryant “mommy fish”
Here’s the cliffsnotes version of the book: Two professors go to Italy, buy a house, fix it up, visit it every summer and Christmas and serve lots of dinners to lots of other people, all who have no story to tell either. You also get a lot of descriptions of doorways and vegetables. There, you’ve read it!-Just xLNs
Her book is full of smug, self-congratulatory prose- verbal “O lucky me!” hand-clapping- along with recipes, and “vacations from her vacation” in Tuscany with her mysterious gentleman friend, identified only as “Ed.”…She thinks Italians were put on this earth for her personal entertainment- they’re so quaint, with their funny hand gestures and odd little customs that she makes no effort to understand. Or else, they exist to perform whatever manual labor at her villa she finds too heavy or too tedious, and whatever skilled labor her exacting Martha Stewart standards of decorating demand…Her comments on Italian art are pretentious, poorly informed, and without a single interesting insight. Her one moment of humility comes when she admits her difficulties in learning Italian…But so what? She doesn’t need to know Italian. Mayes lives in the insulated dream world that only the very wealthy can afford to build around themselves…The parties she gives and attends are so unvaryingly elegant that you start wishing someone would belch, tell a dirty joke, get nastily drunk, come down with a case of Tuscan Tummy, or admit to cravings for a Big Mac. Did I mention that Mayes has absolutely NO sense of humor?-A reader
Characters besides Mayes and her high opinion of herself are nonexistent; 280 pages -is Ed her husband, her boyfriend, her slave? Whatever, I don’t even care anymore. I’d feel sorry for him if I could figure out who he is. I could go on and on, but I’m not Frances Mayes so I won’t. My advice to her is to get over herself. My advice to a potential reader is to get over your impulse to read this book. –Mystery Fan “jax475”
I know where to put this book - in the recycling bin, in the hope that it will be reborn as blank paper in the typewriter of a real writer.-A customer
How could Italy be boring? Ask Frances Mayes….-A customer
Why You Shouldn’t Bother: Huh? Oh sorry -I was still laughing at how hilariously accurate those reviews were. Seriously, how did this book get published and why was it on any best seller list?
So there you have it! What are your thoughts and opinions? What books appear on your worst list?
With my upcoming move to Verona I was trying to brainstorm what to do about this blog. I’m freaking out because it doesn’t make since to have Jessica in Rome when I am not living in Rome. Here are my options:
That’s right folks, I hit up all corners of the boot in just 1 day! How? We went to 
When D and I realized our one year anniversary was coming up, we began brainstorming where to go to celebrate. I am honestly tired of the churches, museums and all the other junk that foreigners come to Italy to do. I wanted a cheap, down home, not made for western travellers, average Italian vacation. Some place where if I was born here, I would probably go. I wanted to experience Italy as if all this old stuff didn’t really matter that much. So I handed the reins over to D who is the most anti museum/anti church person I know.
